Think of having a reservoir of personal resources which you can draw upon to meet your daily needs and use to achieve your goals. Obviously this reservoir must be regularly replenished if it is never to run dry. You will find ways of keeping it topped up described on the individual pages of this site. Praising yourself is one example. Filling yourself up with positive experiences is another.
In addition to those internal resources, there are many ways of getting outside help and support. That is what this page is all about.
Although it might seem obvious, I am going to mention it anyway: our relationships are potential resources. Family, whether it be parents, spouses, partners or siblings, can be a great source of support and encouragement. Assuming that the people closest to you are interested in your welfare and that they know how to be supportive, family members can be helpful - provided you tell them what you want from them!
The same goes for your friends. Pick those who are likely to understand your difficulties and your wish to overcome them. Tell them what you are trying to do and ask for their support. Be specific about the kind of support you would like. For example, ask them if you can share your achievements and 'failures' with them and ask for feedback (remember failures don't really exist when you turn them into opportunities to learn).
There are plenty of outside resources which can augment and support your own inner ones. Delve into the information below for ideas to help you in your confidence-building quest. From the colour of your clothes to machines that tune the mind - you're bound to find something to help you on your way.
Bach Flower Remedies
These gentle, yet powerful remedies work to transform negative states of mind into their positive opposite. The natural ingredients are distilled from plants and trees. Patience may be needed for deep-set conditions. Rescue Remedy acts quickly in cases of emergency and is very useful if you are feeling anxious, fearful or have received a shock.
Larch is the individual remedy for lack of confidence but usually there are other negative states of mind that need treating at the same time. Up to six remedies may be combined ideally.
These remedies have been a most wonderful resource to me and my family at various times over the years and I would not be without them. You can learn more about them at
Have you ever noticed that you feel different when you wear certain colours? I always keep a red T-shirt for those occasions when I need to feel optimistic, powerful or confident. Orange and golden yellow are also vibrant and outgoing colours capable of giving confidence a boost.
Green has a balancing effect, poised as it is between the red and blue ends of the spectrum. If you need to feel calm, this is a good colour to wear or have around you. Walking in the countryside is another way of absorbing more green colour.
Clear turquoise blue is a particular favourite of mine and a colour I like to wear when I need to communicate effectively.
Books to Inspire You
Look no further than this website to find my book Feel Your Worth... Know Your Power . This practical guide contains a wealth of essential information, tips and techniques to help you build your self confidence. If you can't wait to get started, you can download the book now and read it on your computer.
Search the self help section of any good bookstore and you will find plenty of books from which to choose and add to your resources. One absolute classic that I have read over and over again is by Susan Jeffers. It is called Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway
The idea that you could lead a life despite your fears and in doing so become more confident, was inspirational to me. One man I knew carried a copy with him everywhere. He never read it but was totally inspired by the title!
If you are unsure about which self help books are going to be the right one for you, look for 50 Self Help Classics by Tom Butler-Bowdon which contains useful reviews to help you decide.
If you are religious, you have a considerable resource at your fingertips. You will probably be familiar with prayer. Remember it is ok to pray for yourself as well as for other people. When you do, it helps to be specific. Ask for the strength to overcome your difficulties, help in sticking to your confidence-building plan, and for insights to help you learn and grow. This is more dynamic and effective than just asking for more self confidence.
You do not have to be religious to be spiritual, and you do not have to be a spiritual person to benefit from the practice of meditation. This is a helpful technique for stilling the mind. It reduces stress and builds your inner resources. There are many forms meditation can take. It's worth researching and finding the right method for you.
Yoga for Inner Harmony
I found yoga a wonderful way of increasing feelings of wellbeing and building my resources. Supremely helpful in relieving physical tension and toning the body, it also creates a state of inner peace. A class is a good way to start so you cultivate good habits. Regular practice, which means doing some at home, gives maximum benefit. Why not check out what's available near you.
Therapy Comes in Many Forms
If you want to have the support of a professional there are many forms that this can take. Counselling, Hypnotherapy, Assertiveness Training and Life Coaching are some of the resources you can explore.
Therapists usually belong to an association or governing body. Such organisations are often able to point you in the direction of someone in your area. This is one way of ensuring the therapist is qualified to provide the service they offer.
Courses and Workshops
The value of this type of resource is that you get to meet other people in the same boat as you. It is always good to see that you are not alone with your problems.
You may have to look for courses or workshops on personal development rather than on confidence. Don't be concerned about this. Self confidence building is a given in all self development. Other courses or training may be on a particular aspect of confidence eg assertiveness skills.
A lot can be learned in the group situation. While a course may involve some teaching, there is likely to be audience participation where you will also be able to learn from other people's experiences. Workshops tend to be more hands-on and experiential with less emphasis on formal teaching. This can be a dynamic way of bringing about positive change within you.
I went on some powerful weekend workshops where there was no formal teaching at all. From the moment I walked in the room at the beginning to the moment I left, it was all experiential. Although it was very intense, things really moved for me. Of course not all workshops are as intensive as this.
If you don't feel ready for this, there are online courses as well -
Be Master of Your Life Personal Development Course
This free Master Course in Personal Development will teach you how to become Master of each dimension of your life including: Self Awareness, Self Esteem, Health, Relationships, Abundance and Success. Learn and use a powerful combination of self knowledge, mind power, affirmations and EFT to be Master of Your Life.
CDs which Change Your Mind
There are a couple of ways in which CDs can be resources. There are plenty of CDs on the market that claim to improve self confidence. Usually these offer a hypnotherapeutic approach and can be helpful. The only drawback can be that many tend to be quite general so as to fit with a large number of people, but they might not be specific enough to suit you. Others that are more specific may not fit with your situation. So it can be a bit hit and miss....
However, I can really recommend Paul Scheele's Paraliminal CDs which have been excellent in triggering positive changes in me. Those I have used include: Anxiety Free, Deep Relaxation, Self Esteem Supercharger, Peak Performance, and Belief. Check these out at this website: www.learningstrategies.com
Soothing music can calm the nerves and help induce healthy sleep. A lovely range of music for relaxation and inspiration can be found at www.newworldmusic.com. A Great Little Gadget
A small, portable device produces patterns of light and sound which the user experiences through special spectacles and headphones. The result is a change in state of mind. Sound far-fetched?
I thought so too, before I tried it! I have used the MindLab as it is called, for relaxation and wellbeing, improving concentration, increasing my energy levels and promoting deep sleep. I really value this little machine as a great resource. It even had a dramatic effect on my tennis performance! Check it out for yourself at
High self-esteem is not just important, it is Pivotal!
Developing high self-esteem is part of finding the path to living to our full potential www.high-self-esteem.com
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"Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass." - Colin P P Sisson www.eaziGOAL.com
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It's worth collecting some helpful and positive resources. Not only do they make your personal journey easier, but the seeking and the exploration involved is good for expanding the mind and growing your self confidence.
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