A Question of Becoming Confident

How long will it take for me to become a confident person?

You may choose to engage with the process of building confidence until you achieve your personal goal. While this could take days, weeks or months depending on that goal, you'll feel more and more confident as you work towards it.

You might then wish to set other goals and continue the growth process. While it may take time to get to the point you are trying to reach, the beneficial effects can be felt quite quickly. Like most things in life, The more you put in the more you'll get out of the process, and the faster you will get results.

Hopefully you will be so rewarded by the process you'll want to continue until self confidence becomes established as a habit and a way of life.

I tried to change before and it didn't work. Will this method be any different?

Perhaps you tried to change using will-power alone, or you found it hard to stay motivated.

Many of us were taught to believe that all worthwhile things are difficult to obtain - that there's no pain without gain, and the nastier the medicine, the more good it will do you etc. All of us have experience of learning and growing through suffering, but we can also grow and benefit from experience gained through enjoyment. Yes, enjoyment!

Learning a new skill can be interesting, stimulating, engrossing. Becoming confident does not have to be a dry subject or an onerous task. As well as the nuts and bolts side of things, you will also find refreshment in the form of mind-stretching exercises and activities that grow you while you enjoy them.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Why not try it? What have you got to lose?

I am not at all confident. Can I be helped?

Perhaps you are thinking that your own problems are too big or deep-seated for you to benefit from a self help approach which involves enjoying yourself. Let me tell you something....

When you focus on a problem and dwell on it, it gets bigger and bigger until it fills the frame of your life. I am not belittling your suffering, but when you feel that a problem is all there is, everything else that is positive and good in your life dwindles in your perception at the same time.

Focus on enlarging the positives, the goodness in your life, making them occupy the greater part of the frame, and you will automatically feel more confident, able to cope with the problem and may even find a creative solution to it. The tips and techniques on this site will help you do just that.

I am not unhappy. What's in it for me?

So you are not unhappy? That’s great, and it is but one stage along the continuum of: deeply depressed, through to blissfully happy. Why stop there when you could have so much more?

You say confidence gives you freedom. Surely freedom is a myth?

Is freedom a myth? I don't think so. Everything is subjective and finding your own freedom is a valid goal. Think of this: a prisoner rises above his situation and finds release through writing or spiritual experience. A woman has the chance to fulfil her dream of visiting Australia but rejects it because of her fear of flying. Who is free?

Being confident means you can have your dreams and fulfil them.

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