Self Confidence, My Passion
If you are wondering who I am and why I'm passionate about building self confidence, I hope this page will satisfy your curiosity. Here I will share with you how my early difficulties led me on a path of self development and culminated in the creation of this website.
From Darkness to Light at the End of the Tunnel
My name is Elaine and I was born in London in 1950. I was an only child of well-meaning but strict parents, and painfully shy. I struggled at school, as much with the relationships with my peers, as with the difficulties of learning and performance in exams. I had very little self confidence.
Although things got a little better when I left school to become a dispensing optician, I still went through agonies believing I wasn't very good at my job and not good enough as a person.
A breakthrough came when, fed up with how I was feeling, I decided to take an objective view of my performance at work. For three days I observed all that I did and compared my output with that of my colleagues. I was amazed to find that I made fewer mistakes, my customers were happier, and I was more efficient than anyone else, including the manager!
My observations gave such a boost to my confidence that I became even better at my job and I enjoyed it more too. I realised that the negative view I had of myself had held me back and prevented me seeing the truth - that I was ok and had some good qualities that others appreciated.
From then on, I no longer merely accepted my insecurities and limitations. I worked to overcome them whenever they made themselves felt, not just at work, but in every area of my life.
From the Depths to the Heights
After the birth of my first child I suffered with depression. Cut off from my feelings and unable to tolerate the medication prescribed for me, I was thrown once again on my own resources. I turned to healing which helped me to grow and recover. The experience made me want to become a healer myself and I determined to change my career path.
The next period of my life was devoted to becoming first a healer, then a counsellor and hypnotherapist. Each discipline came with its own demand for inner awareness and self development. It became second nature for me to resolve problems by working on myself, using many of the techniques that appear on this site. The more I overcame my fears and broke through my limitations, the greater my self confidence became.
My second husband and I established a healing centre where we lived and worked together. In addition to my private practice I worked for a marriage and relationship guidance agency. During my years as a therapist and working with hundreds of clients I learned more and more about the process of change. The offering of this website comes out of that collective knowledge as well as my own personal experience.
From Confidence to Super-confidence
Today, I am retired from work as a therapist. My children are grown up and have left home. My husband and I divide our time between living in the Midlands in the UK, and the Republic of Ireland which we love. There we can really indulge our interest in walking, birds and photography, and even climb mountain or two.
I continue to push the envelope by putting myself in the way of new experiences and challenges. At age fifty, I faced my worst case scenario by getting up on stage and singing publicly in front of 200 people. The fact that I was standing up with three others did nothing to allay my terror. Over the next few years I worked to increase my ease on stage. My singing and performance skills improved as a result and my overall confidence level rocketed.
More recently, I wanted to
create my own website.
I had no knowledge of how to do it and I didn't know if I could, but I thought I would give it a go. Learning about the technicalities was a challenge but I took it just one step at a time and kept boosting myself with positive self talk. The results you can see. I had not anticipated how much extra confidence and sense of accomplishment it would give me.
There will always be challenges in life. We can respond to them when they naturally arise, and we can choose to look for them as a means to grow. There is such power in seeking some obstacles to overcome which also carry a reward - something we value and want.
I know what it is to suffer with lack of confidence AND what it's like to come out the other side. I would like you to know that things can be different for you. You can change, just as I have done. It is my greatest wish that you will be helped by the information on this website, that you will be motivated to try the tips and techniques and be changed by them, just as I have been.
Building self confidence and changing your life may not be easy, but it is so rewarding. Each step forward results in another increment of enjoyment in life. That is why I am so passionate about it. I wish good luck to all of you who venture on this wonderful voyage of self discovery.
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