Which Active Techniques are for You?
Active techniques are another powerful, good-value way of increasing your confidence. Each one is designed to produce a specific outcome. Choose the techniques that fit you and the stage you are at, and leave the rest.
Follow The Impulse
Nurturing yourself is what this active technique is all about. It feeds your self esteem which is closely linked to your level of confidence. If you usually ignore your own needs, or are always putting those of others before your own, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy, valuable or important enough to have your needs listened to, or met.
Sound familiar? Then this technique is definitely for you!
Be aware of when you feel thirsty for instance; give yourself a drink. You feel like eating a banana; buy some next time you are out. You feel tired; take a breather. You fancy going for a walk; go for it! It begins with a feeling, sometimes a very small feeling, and grows into a want, an impulse.
By listening to your inner promptings and acting on them on a daily basis, you will learn more about what you need and want. When you respond to that want or need, you honour yourself and build self esteem. It doesn't sound like much of an active technique does it? Yet by following the impulse you can feel so much better about yourself.
As the receiver, really savour that banana and allow yourself to fully enjoy that walk, and it will fulfil you even more.
If you know that what you want is bad for you, be kind to yourself by negotiating a healthier option.
If you cannot drop everything to go for a walk as you wish, you could agree with yourself that you will go after work, or the next day.
If you really want to go to the beach, but you live a hundred miles away, try and draw out what is most important about that trip. If it’s the fresh air, go for a walk instead; if it's the swimming, go to a pool. If it's the sense of freedom, find a substitute that would give you the same feeling. If nothing else will do and you cannot fulfil the wish in any other way, take at least ten minutes to relax and visualise being at the beach. Make it as real as you can so you get the feeling you're actually there.
Whatever you do, don't let yourself down! Treat yourself as if you were your own best friend, or a young child who trusts you.
Follow The Impulse is one of the most powerful active techniques. For best results it needs to be applied consciously on a day-to-day basis.
To be self confident you need to have a definite sense of who you are. This active technique involves writing a full description of yourself which helps you better define your identity.
Imagine you are describing yourself to a complete stranger. Make frequent use of the words 'I' or 'I am' as you write about your attributes. Take several days to complete your description. Here are some categories to get you started:
Gender, appearance, character traits, likes and dislikes, hobbies or interests (past and Present), abilities, opinions and values, status, family, work or occupation, things you do/have done, experiences you've had.
This is not an exercise in self criticism so report the facts without judgement.
Should you find yourself going off the topic of yourself and writing about where you live for instance, ask yourself 'what does where I live say about me as a person?'.
If you feel dissatisfied with the completed description of yourself, think about what you would like to read about you and turn these into goals.
Pushing Out The Boundaries
Travel, it is said, broadens the mind because it provides new horizons of experience. Pushing Out The Boundaries is an active technique to do just that, but without you having to leave the country.
Exposing yourself to new things and new ways refreshes you mentally and builds your confidence to cope with change. It is brilliant for giving you a fresh perspective. Pushing Out The Boundaries is one of the best active techniques for changing patterns of thinking and behaviour.
Here are some suggestions of how you might go about this:
- Change your routine. Do things in a different order or in a new way
- Visit a new place or try a new activity
- Choose a book or magazine you would not normally read
- Use your non-dominant hand for a while
- Try foods you have not tasted before
- Leave the computer and play board games instead
The more you experiment with this idea, the more creative you will become. Literally everything in your daily life can be viewed, done, or experienced differently.
Pushing Out The Boundaries is one of the active techniques that is appropriate for everyone wishing to develop self confidence.
Good News Diary
The Good News Diary is perhaps the most enjoyable of the active techniques. It is a great way to build your resources and makes sure you have lots of good experiences.
If you lack confidence, you may be prone to feeling the world is against you, that good things are unlikely to happen to you. It's possible you are filtering out the good things that do happen and selectively remembering the things that upset you or go wrong.
Here's what to do...
Yes, it's another list, an ongoing one which you add to at least once a day. This active technique requires you to be aware of all the positive occurrences, enjoyable experiences and achievements of each day. You then record them in a journal, either during, or at the end of, every day.
Here are some examples of what might appear on your list:
Things I enjoyed today eg croissants for breakfast, cycle ride, reading the newspaper, the flowers in the garden, TV serial, crossword, soak in the bath, cuddling the cat, chat with neighbour.
Things I achieved today eg put up shelves, wrote a letter, vacuumed the house, mended shed roof, tidied my office, shopping, hair cut.
Positive things that happened today eg car passed its annual test, mother came out of hospital, the sun shone, I felt really well, won a raffle prize.
As you continue the diary, you'll find more and more positive entries to make. No negative ones allowed. In time it will become automatic for you to look for positive experiences and to remember them. Use this active technique to have more confidence in life and the world around you.
The World of Collage
This is one of those active techniques you can really enjoy....
A good way of telling your unconscious mind what you want it to do for you is to clarify your ideas and represent them in a physical way.
Make a collage of what confidence means for you out of scraps, photos and pictures from old magazines. You might place a picture of a confident-looking figure or an image that symbolises confidence near the centre. Arrange images that represent what you would do or achieve when you have greater confidence, around it. Add any text that you want. Glue it all in place.
Make it as colourful and striking as you can so your eyes will be constantly drawn to look at it. Then put the collage somewhere you will see it every day and see what happens!
This one proves that active techniques can be fun as well as powerful!
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