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Elaine Fairweather

Table of Contents 10th November 2009, Issue #019

This Month's Article:
Personal Values - Your Confidence Booster
Tip of the Month:
Decide on a Task, Then Do It!

Personal Values - Your Confidence Booster

We are all familiar with the part that doing and achieving can play in building confidence. When we accomplish something we can know ourselves to be capable, clever or gifted because the proof is right out there to be seen. All we need to do is acknowledge it.

However, if you don’t have a string of achievements from which you can derive self esteem and confidence, what can you do? Well, liking the person you are is a good way to start building on your positive opinion of yourself. Your personal values can serve just as well as achievements to underpin self confidence.

Everyone has values – even criminals and terrorists. You have values – beliefs about what is important – and your attitudes and behaviour will generally fall into line with these.

You might not have thought about what your values are before, but they are part of you and they show, so people who know you will have a good idea of what some of your values are. Ask yourself what these are. If you are not sure, ask a friend to enlighten you.

Recognise the values you have and feed your self worth

Here are some examples. You may be people-oriented – interested in others, care about them and try to help them. You may try to lead a selfless life but it's not selfish to appreciate this quality in yourself and the people-values from which it springs.

You may hold religious beliefs and have spiritual values that are important to you. They may make you a more loving, grateful and peaceful being. Be pleased that this is part of your nature or a positive choice you have made.

People who hold traditional family values and work hard at being good parents, loving husbands and wives, and caring family members, have something to be proud about.

You may have compassion for animals and contribute to the wellbeing and care of them. It’s fine to like this side of yourself and let it feed into your self worth.

Perhaps you care greatly about the planet and put your energies into ecology, recycling etc. Or you might be active in politics to try and make a better world. Enjoy the responsibility you are taking and be proud of this aspect of yourself.

If you are artistic, you can appreciate your creativity which makes you unique. You can be artistic in many ways. You may have a gift for flower arranging, making table decorations, play a musical instrument or solve problems in elegant ways. Claim your talents and enjoy the values you have around beauty and presentation.

You may have values about excellence which can manifest in doing a job well. Honesty and integrity may be important values for you. Living simply or taking responsibility for your own health are yet further examples of the value systems you may be embracing.

Identify your personal values and make them points about yourself to feel good about. It’s refreshing to get away from ‘What have I achieved today, this week, this year…?’. Rather ask yourself ‘What is important to me/what are my values that I like about myself?’.

What can appreciating your values do for you?

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that to be someone of worth you have to do something important or dramatic. Getting away from results-oriented thinking and focusing instead on who you are can bring a new and deeper level of self-respect.

You may find it easier to feel good about yourself for being a person you like, than for the things you have done. Pride in your achievements (these are important too) can be transient and short-lived, however, you take your values with you everywhere because they are part of you. Acknowledge, appreciate them, and they can be a great resource for boosting your confidence.

This Month's Tip
Decide on a Task, Then Do It!

If you decide to do something like clear an untidy space, but then find reasons NOT to do it, you undermine your own power. Not following through with your intention not only robs you of the satisfaction of a job well done. It sends a negative message about your ability or determination to complete a task. Repeat the process a few times and you will feel the erosion in your self confidence.

Deciding on a task and committing to it by following through is one of the quickest confidence boosters there can be. It lifts your mood, brings pride and pleasure in the finished result and feeds into confidence in your own power.

When you are going through a difficult patch in your life where everything feels to be out of your control, deciding on a task and doing it will give you a measure of control in your own life. It might be small on the scale of things, but it will count and you will feel the benefit.


The Essential Guide to Confidence Building

An easy-to-read e-book with all you need to know to build deep and lasting self confidence – the key to living the life you want.

Read all about it on the website by clicking on the link above.

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Self Confidence Secrets. If you would like to make comments, offer ideas, suggestions or give feedback, I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this zine and tell me what you think.

See you next month!


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