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Elaine Fairweather

Table of Contents 10th May 2010, Issue #025

This Month's Article: Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back
Tip of the Month: Not Enough Time?

Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

So often fear holds us back and prevents us living the life we want. If you find yourself saying ‘If only I won the lottery I would ….’ or ‘When I feel better I will ….’ it may be a sign you are putting obstacles in the way of getting what you want.

But, you might argue, ‘I really don’t have the money to indulge my dream of starting my own business’, or ‘I really am too ill to contemplate moving to where I really want to be’. If you examine your issues honestly you may find that fear is the real reason you don’t allow yourself to have what you want.

Revealing and acknowledging your underlying fears can help you to move forward. In the case of wanting to start your own business, there may be feelings of insecurity and fear of failing that prevent you from exploring how you could finance your venture. For as long as you believe it would take a large win on the lottery to make your dream possible, you will not act.

You may indeed feel more comfortable with this limiting belief than looking at your fears and moving beyond them, but it also means you don’t get to fulfil your ambition. Complaining about being unable to have what you want, is another habit that is so easy to fall into. Again, it holds you back and stops you seeing any opportunities for moving towards your goal.

If you long to go on holiday but never find time to make the arrangements, you may identify anxieties about being far away from home, eating foreign food or a fear of flying. Without these concerns you might find you are quite able to book your holiday and go away. Recognising any fears that might be holding you back gives you the chance to deal with them and move beyond them.

The power of owning your fears

There is something powerful in owning your fears to yourself. Once you recognise that you are holding yourself back by fear you can choose to do something about it. However, should you decide not to start your business or go on holiday, that’s ok. Just make it a conscious choice and say to yourself ‘I’m choosing not to start my own business at this time’ or ‘I choose not to travel just now’. It keeps those possibilities open for the future. If, on the other hand, you decide to work with your fears or just go ahead despite them, you are empowered to do so.

Fear can numb your instincts and prevent you knowing consciously what direction to go in or which choice to make. If you feel stuck and don’t know what you want, ask yourself the question: ‘What would I be doing if I wasn’t afraid?’ The answer may surprise you. Be ready to take the first thing that comes into your mind. You might want to reject the answer because it arouses anxiety, but acknowledge it. You can still choose not to follow it up or you can decide to stop evading the guidance this represents.

If you leave your fears buried you will continue to be held back by them. By being honest with yourself, acknowledging your dreams and aspirations, and making conscious choices about them, you are freer, and more becomes possible for you to enjoy and achieve.

When you say ‘yes’ to life despite your fears, you will discover that there is a wealth of support and resource just waiting to help you. This may come through people you know or perfect strangers. It can come in the form of abundance to help you make your dreams come true. What once seemed impossible to you now becomes more likely and probable.

This Month's Tip: Not Enough Time?

For many years my husband and I have chosen not to have a TV. We decided that we wanted more time to devote to our creative hobbies and realised that giving up television would give us that. We have never looked back.

It might seem too radical a step for you, but when you find yourself saying you don’t have enough hours in the day, consider reducing your television viewing hours. If you select the programmes that are important to you and record them, you can then choose to watch them at a more suitable time. Go one step further and restrict your viewing to ONLY these programmes and you can free up many hours of valuable time.

Can you Help?

I created my website in 2006 because I wanted to make essential information on how to build self confidence freely available to people like you. It has been, and continues to be, a gift I am happy to make. However, websites don’t come free, and for four years I have funded this one myself.

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My Offer to You

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